Heartbroken

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My dearest Fiona “Fifi” passed away on July 3rd at 8:10 A.M. I cannot even begin to express how sad and lost I am without her.

On Thursday, June 25 in the middle of the night we awoke to her having her first grand mal seizure. It was so scary to watch her and at the time I didn’t know if she was going to survive it. We rushed her to the animal hospital and they kept her for 24 hours. She did fine in there and had no seizure activity. Unfortunately, she had one the next night. She was then put on her first seizure medicine of Phenobarbital. We were so encouraged when another 24 hours passed and she had no seizure activity. But then on Sunday, June 28 she started having cluster seizures. She was rushed back to the animal hospital and got Keppra added to her Phenobarbital. When we took her home from this visit things seemed to go downhill and she was still having seizure activity. Several trips to the vet later we also added Prednisone and Valium. We gave it over 24 hours to kick in but unfortunately, Fifi seemed lost, miserable, and unaware of her surroundings. Most likely she had a brain tumor and there was nothing we could do.

She was 14 years old and in October we would have had her for 12 years. Those 12 years went by in the blink of an eye.

As a way to memorialize her I want to share a letter to her.

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My Dearest Fiona,

I’ll never forget the day you came to live with me in October 17th, 2003. I was so excited for you and your sister, Angel, to come live with us. I remember everything about Leila coming over and dropping you off. I remember that I had no idea how to take care of a dog, but you made it so easy. You were so loving from the first moment I met you. You were estimated at 2 years old and you had a lot of energy for taking walks, playing with your nyla bones, and tearing around the yard. But you were so docile and loved to sit on my lap and follow me around. You never let me out of your sight if I was around.

I’ll never forget taking you back and forth to college, taking you on countless walks, celebrating all the holidays and especially your “Arrival day” birthday each year, sitting with you every single evening and petting you as you stared up at me with those adoring brown eyes, all your countless kisses, carrying you around like a baby and having you swaddled up because you loved to be babied.

The most amazing thing about you is how wonderful and good you were. You always listened to my commands and never got in trouble. You were the best dog I or anyone could ever ask for you. There has never been a sweeter dog than you. You have been one of the biggest blessings in my life and I thank God everyday for bringing you to me. It’s so hard not to mourn the time I am missing with you instead I am trying to also thank God for every minute I had you with me.

I was not there when you took your first breath in this world, but I was there for the last and it was my honor and privilege to be there for you and to be your mommy.

I will love you always.

Love always,

Your Mommy

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Comments

  1. I am so, so sorry for your loss Chrissy!! We had a border collie that had a seizure disorder and he only lived to be three years old. He had so many seizures and I know how awful it was to watch him go through those. It’s so terrible loosing a pet and my heart bleeds for you and your family. XO

  2. Chrissy, I’m so sorry! I’ll be thinking of you!

  3. Oh I am so sorry. My mom kept my chihuahua from high school and it’s probably my favorite thing about visiting home. She’s ten years this year and its amazing how much pups are apart of the family. sending hugs!

  4. I’m so sorry to hear this. I was hoping for a little miracle for you guys. It sounds like she had a great life with you though.

  5. I’m so very sorry! Our pets seem to know our hearts like no one else and it’s so difficult to watch them go. We just said goodbye to our dog under an entirely different circumstance, and it is hard missing him at every turn… you’re not alone! I hope time brings you some comfort and peace. She was a cutie!

  6. This had me in tears. That letter is such a beautiful remembrance of Fiona. You gave her an amazing life (and vice versa) and I’m so sorry for your loss. I know how hard it is to lose a furbaby, and my heart goes out to you and your family.

  7. I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you. 🙁

  8. Kim Dorbecker says:

    Just wanted to say again how sorry we are. Just know that you did everything possible for her and she had a very happy life with you!
    Our car, Reagan, lived to be 17 years old, and survived insulin injections twice a day for the last 4 – 5 years, but in the end started having seizures which were heartbreaking to watch. He didn’t last long after those started.

  9. I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Chrissy. 🙁 I’ll be praying for you and your family during this difficult time. <3

  10. Oh honey, I am so incredibly sorry. I recently lost my dog too and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I know your pain. I’ll be sending you love and prayers. You guys were so lucky to have had each other in your lives. Love.

  11. Oh no…I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁 Those pictures are so sweet and heartbreaking. I hope you are all doing okay…I can only imagine the adjustment.